please don't give up

I'm tired of life.
I know I'm more fortunate than a lot of people in the world, but I'm still feeling sick and tired of a life that is not within my control. 

almost a year ago..

the last post dated last year..

was quite some time ago.. hmm hows everyone? hmm im fine, apart from some relationship and work issues..


im still learning to love myself more,  hope everyone does.

Some time before I learn to love again..

h e a r t b r o k e n.

You're the only one to mend it because you're the one who broke it, but I'll never allow that - not anymore.

End of a chapter

Definitely not something to be happy about..

It's hard to believe that he is the one who physically, verbally, and mentally abused me, yet it's the hardest to let go.

To my dear chiwawa..
I'm sorry to let go at this moment, but you've already forced me to my limit. I can no longer be able to take the blow of you throwing your serious drunken fit, totally unable to recall what had happened the next day, and expecting me to just forget about it(again and again). You'll never know how painful it is till you experience the same thing. I hope you'll never have to go through the pain like I did, and the most unbearable pain is when you promised to be the one who's gonna mend back my heart because you wounded it in the first place, but you didn't..
We've been through a lot, been really happy with you, cried together too, do silly things together..etc. Almost inseparable! It's really really painful for me, I know it's painful for you too, but let's just do one last thing together before we finally part our ways.. Brace yourself.

Love,
😢

you said you're looking forward to

me too.

thank you.

i will be waiting

one day, i want you to hold my hand and announce to the all your friends and people who know us, that i'm your love. we will doubled the happiness, and halved the burden.


with all my love.

im there for you just like you here for me

and we'll hold our hands to we tide through this.

embrace your life

so many friends, school mates, and colleagues gettin married. sometimes i wonder, when will my turn be coming. whenever we're out on the street, those wedding rings never fail to catch my attention.

life is unpredictable, isnt it?

...

that day i saw an old friend of mine. he was alone,and i thought his fiance is somewhere around. who knows when i texted him, then i gotta to know that he'd broken up with her. o.0!! but anyhow, it was around the haze-period. so for no apparent reason, i told him about me contacting KL out of concern for his asthma. in the end, the advice given by this old friend to me was, not to care about him(KL) because we've already broken up, furthermore,i'm already attached.
what's wrong with caring for a friend? and most importantly, my dear old friend here, you clearly do not know what went wrong between us which lead to that final conclusion. so well, ...

how can life ever be predictable?

anticipation

soon.

looking forward to be part of the team to set up a restaurant. woohoo~!!!

positive energy

too much things happened within a week. whatever it is, it's over. another phase of life coming up, and another level we go for our love.

faith & perservere.

to mr/ms/mdm guolairen

thanks for your concern, i know you meant well.

the drunkard's confession

you told me you wouldn't be able to fulfil every women's wish - walking down the aisle in gown, towards the groom-to-be at the opposite side.

you told me most probably i won't bear you your fourth child.

...

but did i tell you all these don't matters much?
iloveyou.

2013

today is the eve of a new year in the lunar calender, while taking a break from cleaning my room, i wanna leave some words here..


2012:
i changed job, ended school-life, broke up with my boyfriend of then.. and the list goes on.

2013:
i got a new and challenging job, got a new guy, and although it's impossible for everything to sail smoothly, but at least i hoped for the better, better anger management for myself; more recognition at work; be healthier and skinnier at the same time; and the list goes on as well.


whatever it is, some people who're reading my posts here might poke their nose/s into my relationship life.. dont worry about that, and dont doubt or question me, there's always a reason for things to happen.

till then, drink more; drunk much; and sleep forever.

dear chiwawa

miss you very much.


see you soon.

curse

this kinda rumours.. whoever started it, not that i've not warned you, YOU'll be in a state of living hell.

liar

so much to rant, but to summarise it..

I AM F*CKING TOLERATING HER!!! AND FOR THAT, IT'S BEEN TO MY LIMIT!!!

BANKAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

______________________________________________________

i dont wanna share this with anyone else whom i know, but just wanna keep it here..

how would you feel if you know someone who used to be your closest and dearest lied to you? the worst part of it is, he/she jolly well knows that his/her doings are what you hate to the core, and yet chose to do it, thinking that no one else will know except for the particular person whom you bumped into.

why lie?

this is so sad, and i was expected to feel guilty for what i've done. so what have you done?
dont tell me this and that, here and there, blah blah blah.. for what you've done, you dont deserve any sympathy or guilt from me.

i hate you. i was naive enough.

i dont see any reason for me to break the news to you or anyone else.

heartbroken

a moment of foolishness, a moment of stupidity, i've hurt you, and you've hurt me back. my heart tinged, my tears dropped, just hope all this to be over soon.

back again

well, once again i'm back to this place, to keep on updating my recent doings as well as happenings..

hmm.

i shall say that i'm officially outta school(completing the whole of 3-years course without having a certificate). despite not achieving the certificate, i've acquired myself with a set of skill, and only those who've tested it will know(how should i put it? hmm. well, to simplify it - i know the whole production system of garments, and is capable of producing them.).

and so for the above mentioned, i'm finally out to the working society(although i'm always on-off working part-time here and there). i'm currently with Epicurean Concept - Hinoki Japanese Fine Dining Restaurant, working under Ronnie Chia(Tatsuya)'s brother - Lawrence Chia.

hmm. relationship wise, i'm no longer with the same guy. so.. well, shall not elaborate much also.




will come back here again to update.

2-months

almost 2 months at work, i lost 5kg. body hasnt been too good either, down with tonsilitis and fever.

God bless all.