1/6/08 yesterday.
Wanted to ask Gorilla out for dinner initially,
but drop the idea eventually and went out for dinner with family members at Chinatown instead.
Walked around the place and bought chestnuts and wheatgrass-drink for snacks then home sweet home.
Thanks to the wheatgrass drink,
i cleared my bowel five-times today.
2/6/08 today.
Went to Bugis for dinner with family members.
Bought a boxers and some sweets at Mugi.
Home sweet home.
...
I sighed when i think about the 3-months i spent in NYP,
knowing people that i thought i could count on as friends.
But at the end of the day,
those naive thinkings came to an end.
Ryoyaku wa kuchi ni nigashi,
too bad she don't understand.
Well,
perhaps i'm NOTHING compare to those who knows how to console and say good things.
Sad to say,
i don't know how to say good things and console YOU because i knew that it's not gonna help and it won't solve the problem.
Those words are not going to do you good,
your stubborn character;
your over-possessive personality;
these are what i saw within the 3-months.
I don't know about the others because only 'seeing is believing',
and i kept quiet about all this thinking that maybe with his presence,
you'll be able to change for the better,
but i guess nothing changes for the better except for the worse afterall right?
THINK.
...
'You gotta think for your ownself.'
'You gotta fight for your own happiness.'
'You gotta put yourself into others' shoes.'
Contradicting isn't it?
Confronting her straight in the face,
telling her that i'm not so desperate to snatch away her boyfriend;
telling her that although i'm not pretty,
that doesn't mean that there're no one out there who's looking out for me[even if it's only for lying];
telling her that even if i'm SO desperate for Sex,
i still can DIY[myself i mean];
telling her that,
'i thought you're oh-so-confident about yourself.'
For IF i didn't put myself in her shoes,
these will be all the things she'll be facing.
There're NOTHING she can say to me because i NEVER thought of the otherwise[even if i did],
i wouldn't do anything because i THOUGHT you WERE my friend.
IF really you want me to stop talking to YOUR boyfriend,
ask him to STOP talking to me first then.
THINK.
Ridiculous,
isn't it?
YOU ARE K.O.
THINK.
IF i really only think for my ownself,
i would tell him WHATEVER in order for him to be mine[who cares if you're my friend?].
BUT,
this only applies IF i'm the kinda person who only think for my ownself.
And by the time,
i think i'll really end up with no friend because i don't think anyone would like to be a friend of a JI-HONG KIA right?
Denise agree?
In the first place if she don't involve me[us] into her relationship,
this won't happen.
Who to blame?
And i repeat,
SHE IS K.O.ed.
For when things didn't happened to you,
you got all sorts of stuffs in your pocket.
When things happened,
you're emptied and stoned.
Pardon me for my straight-forwardness,
but i just wanna make things clear.
She got no reason to prevent us from 'tearing off our faces',
it's up to me.
Always remember,
i don't tolerate all this nonsense.
Seriously,
I don't mind if you wanna reconsider our friendship.
I'm like this and i really really got no idea how to change for the better.
Tell me,
what is better then?
