24 August 2008

Searching for my Identity

Went out with BB, Mork and guys to Vivocity yesterday to catch the recent horror movie - 4bia.

The movie actually consists of 4 short-stories. The first story is about the ex-boyfriend of the girl who came back and so-called seek for 'revenge' after he committed suicide by rushing against the on-coming car because she actually told him that she'd already fall for another guy and broke off their relationship. Imagine the person who's texting the girl all along is the spirit of the guy whose parents actually buried him together with a cell-phone just in case that he is lonely. IMAGINE again, when the girl realised something eerie is going on, the guy text-ed her 'I am in-front of your building.', followed by 'I'm on my way up.'. The tension is there when we're watching it especially among the 8 of us, AT LEAST 5 of them are afraid. LOL! Anyway, the sound effect of the show is so powerful that most of the audiences jumped out of their seats because of it instead of the graphic. Alright, the title of the second story is 'Tit-for-tat'. It's all about a bunch of bullies messing with the wrong person who meddles with black-magic. One by one, they died in horrific-accidents, except the last girl who dug out her own eyes.. Getting more interesting? The third story is somehow not too scary, with a little jokes, and also with a sad ending. I like the last story the most(perhaps it explains the meaning of saving the best for the last). Know what? The best thing you can do in life is to IMAGINE, so imagine that you're the air-stewardess and have to attend to ONLY ONE passenger in the whole aeroplane. Relax isn't it? BUT! The ONLY ONE passenger is someone you're actually guilty of being the mistress of her husband, and worst, she's no longer breathing.. It's really scary when hallucinations started setting in and drive you to the edge of insanity. It's really horrible when this hallucinations are beyond explanations.. Well, for those who wanted a real good scare, go ahead and FOCUS well on the movie. Enjoy!

Proceeded to have singing session as it was Edwin's birthday after 12a.m. which is today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~

Sang and drank all the way till the wee hours, with G-man driving us home.
Home sweet home at 6a.m.

I jolly well knew that I'll get whole-load of @#$%^&* from Mom and sure enough, the moment I open up my lunch-box..
Mom: What time you reached home yesterday?
Me: This morning.
Mom: You really like to do this purposely right?
Me: ..(duh)
Mom: Just because I scolded you yesterday(the previous day) means that you can go out till so late on purpose? Blah blah blah..

I know I shouldn't have my single hand-phone bill of $187.
I know I shouldn't go out without letting her know about it and causing her to buy an extra portion of food for dinner.
I know it's my responsibility to my actions.
I KNOW IT WELL AND CLEAR.
BUT DON'T ASSUMED THAT YOU KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO ASSUME WHAT I'M THINKING JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MOTHER.
Just like last time, I just kept quiet while she carry-on with her ASSUMPTION because I know it well enough that it's useless for me to say ANYTHING because IT IS MY FAULT to be born with such character which builds me up; IT IS ALL MY FAULT to be born in this family. What I was really unhappy about is when SHE said that I NEVER CONTRIBUTE A SINGLE CENT TO THE FAMILY when I was working. Perhaps SHE should try to recall that I even gave money to my God-father and Brother. Yes, I admit that was only once BUT ALL THIS YEARS I DIDN'T TAKE A F*CKING CENT FROM THE FAMILY. Talk about YOUR DEAR SON then. With or without work, I'll always be hearing that he's owing you money. WHAT'S THAT MAN?
It breaks my heart to see you crying whenever you're scolding me, but what about me? I GOT NO SAY IN THIS F*CKING FAMILY, FIGHTING FOR WHAT I DIDN'T DO WILL ONLY RESULTED IN ME BEING LOOKED UPON AS SOMEONE WHO HAVE TONS OF EXCUSES AND NO RESPONSIBILITY. CRYING WILL ONLY BEING ASKED TO SAVE THE CROCODILE TEARS. WHAT IS THIS MAN? With a Mom who thinks that ONLY SHE IS RIGHT; with a Brother whose brain is filled with ARROGANCE and also thinks that ONLY HE IS RIGHT; with a Dad who kept quiet all day long and only raises his voice when everyone is raising their voice, WHO AM I?

It's alright if NO ONE understands me, but all I asked for is just simply a little trust. Isn't it time for me to deserve something I worked hard for over the years?
Drive me to the edge and I'll retaliate; hold me too tight and I'll fly off without turning back.
Sigh.
我的心好累..