today is a very sad day.. we had presentation in school and i gave crap unintentionally to the lecturer in charge.. why? because for the advertising project that we're doing, i'm in-charge of a part whereby i need to select a series of media for advertising then calculate the pricing of the advertising throughout the year with a given budget. somehow, what i did was almost being edited by my group mates without informing me in the first place, and then when i know about it, it was already the last minute, with just an answer 'i think you are wrong' when questioned. every dollar was being calculated with supporting workings, what's there to be wrong about? as a group, we ought to have the basic trust. my group mates entrust the work to me, however, doubt my work. isn't it funny to have reports and PowerPoint presentation with different content at the end of the day? i was very very angry in the beginning which explained by previous posts, however, it is more than anger only.
4 months per module, very last week to see the real faces of people - my group mates.
mom asked 'why is it that you always have problems with your group mates?'
was thinking whether is it my problem because this happened to me twice since year 1, but i know is not because at the end of the day, i can still can work with wifey and girls though we have some uncontrollable conflicts which settled at the end of the day.
people can doubt, but have to accept if it's a fact. i don't wanna doubt without any discussion, but what i voiced out can't be accepted. it's really unusual for me to be a real faker trying to smile while i'm actually boiling inside, but in the end.. wendi told me that i have to be a b*tch at times, but how am is it going to be like if i'm not really a one? it's a dread going to school from tomorrow onwards to see all of them, and those who only listened to one-sided stories. it's disgusting to see them joking as normal to me when deep down they have doubts on me. it might all be an assumption.. which i hope so too. but, right now, i'm really feeling very very.. (indescribable).
well, this morning i saw my ex-classmates while waiting for my group mates. i briefly told them what's happening when asked about my well-being. very kind of them, they told me to be extremely careful when looking for group mates from next semester onwards. how am i going to have my own personal group mates if all of them are being 'polluted' in the brain? i believe that people will tend to trust the present-group mates more than me because after all, i only joined them this semester. like i said, i hope it's all assumptions of mine.. and hopefully someone will trust me with what they feel about me rather than judging me with what they hear.
:'( thank God it's assessment next week. just 6 more days to go. it's alright if i can't finish what i'm supposed to and get bombarded by the assessment-panels, i just want everything to be over, just wannna get done with this f*ckin' semester.
