just about work

sorry for not updating here as often as before.. partly because i just changed my job recently. it's mainly working split-shift from mon, all the way to sat. and the tiring part is not to wake up early and go out of the house at 9am, but is because there's always short of staffs. hopefully i'll be able to pick up what i'm supposed to in the coming week before the only full-timer leaves. zzz

and changing a new place means meeting new people. i just wanna put some thoughts about this head chef of mine. before i got to know him better, i've asked around and heard people saying both good and bad things about him. and yesterday, i went out with him and his friend after work for some relaxing session. i wasnt really keen to join him because he already got quite alot to drink due to entertainment for his guests. but anyway, we had a few drinks and he went blabbering..
personally, i feel sad for him because he hates himself for drinking so much, yet he cant control it and it's the only way for him to vent his anger/frustrations/stress..etc. from what he told me, i can only say that he's a man with a soft heart. just that many of times, as a head chef who's in-charge of everything, he got no choice but to show a strong front. and many of times, many wouldnt wanna look deeper into him. they say things like..
"when he's drunk, he'll scold people with no reason."

"he got no friends at work."

why wanna judge him? look deeper into him and i'll just say,
- "people who finds him demanding/inflexible/fierce..etc. are those who dont have self-discipline and not up to standard. and he's just doing what he can in order to train us into better individuals."

p.s. i dont have feelings for him AT ALL, but seriously i feel sad for him.

when life is a dread 2

should i, or should i not?

i've fallen again. whether to continue to clear all the failed modules, or to start working as a full-timer. not to mention about the pros and cons because at the end of the day, i'm not going to work for others for life. but the major problem is, if i'm really not gonna continue, how am i going to tell mom? she'll surely make a big fuss over this, and moreover, we're not in talking terms now(not a new thing though).
i've this thought coming because i'm so so sick and scare and tired of my life without money in my bank at the age of 23, accomplishing nothing, yet have to force myself to finish this sh*t that i'd chosen. anyway, why wanna make a big fuss when i'll have to pay back the money because of the usage of cpf?

arghhhhhhhhhhhh.

when life is a dread

and now i'm almost done with school, except for the failed modules to clear, i'm nowhere. was talking to mom about what i wanna do in future. i told her what's my plan, and she suggested to work from home, so as to save the rental. i'm not sure if she really dont know what are the stuffs i'll have to bring in, in order for the plan to work out. however, what i know is that without a good preparation, plan(s) will be easily messed up and fail eventually.

right now, i need lotsa money for 3 plans to work out together.

i've got all the time in the world, but my mind is restless. 

sigh.